Forged from Satan's
used wet naps and a whole lotta love, LIQUID MEAT is the
vaguely Eastern European acoustic heavy metal dynamic duo of John
Harrington IV on guitar and vocals and Oddlë Sylundt
on vocals and spandex.
heavy metal?" asks John Harrington IV in a rare philosophical
mood. "Well, it's cheaper, leaving more money for booze and whores."
"Plus," adds Oddlë Sylundt, "it's more honest and
stripped down." "F**k that," interjects John, "it
means more booze and whores." After a quick fight which blossoms
into a full hotel room trashing (even they were each on the phone in
their respective homes at the time), they are soon laughing and scanning
ads for massage parlors prior to playing another landmark gig.
Liquid Meat has entranced
audiences in *at least 4* different clubs with such timeless & tuneless
tunes such as "Hounds of Heck", "You're Gonna Die ('Cuz Nostradamus
Said So)", "Petting Zoo", "Birthday", and "Barf Bag". And
if they're in a really giving mood, they may also treat you to an improvised
acoustic heavy metal anthem, but only if you broker them with groupie
sex after (or during) their performance.
Maybe it's the music,
maybe it's their codpieces, but for whatever reason, they have a growing
following among the disenfranchised, the misunderstood, and the vice
squad, who can often be seen poised with their notepads after a Liquid
Meat show, probably seeking autographs.
You can always
go to the delete bins of your favorite record store to get a beaten-up
copy of some of their previous works, like "Beat The Meatles", "Swallow
The Yellow Brick Load", "Dressed to Lick", "Backwash In The USSR", "Smells
Like Meat Liquid", "Meat Over Troubled Liquid", "Candle In The Meat",
"It Hurts When I Pee: One Band's Journey To A Cut-Rate Clinic", "Slurp
Sliding Away" and "Loin King: A Liquid Meat Salute to Walt Disney".