Entrant's
name and
date submitted
(along with F&D's Gold-Silver-Bronze award if applicable) |
Their
entry
(verbatim): |
Our response: |
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Diva Delicious
(Hollywood Hills, CA, USA)
May 31, 2007
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[[NOTE - This one actually has a set up: "The Guys watching the nature channel."]]
GORD:
"God, those Silver Back Gorillia's are packin some Bad Ass Furry Pecks. Hey Rob.. sorry can't get this button to open. Do ya think I could double for King Kong's stand in.?"
ROB:
"No F***in way A. I'm..ah.. hey...wait a minute Gordo... Check out that Sexy Female Gorilla. I'd love to give her my Banana!!!"
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Holy crap, we haven't had a new entry in over 2 years, so this was a total thrill for our judges who had to re-teach themselves HTML in order to add this one in. Let alone an entry hailing from Hollywood Hills. Welcome to Canuckistan, Hollywood!
 Immediately this one stands apart because it was given a stage direction of watching the Nature Channel, and if there are two things the F&D boys love, is comparative primate anatomy, followed by a bout of imagined steamy gorilla coupling. This is a good contender for at least a bronze, but the judges will deliberate with their requisite bottle of whiskey in the chambers for a while. Don't wait up.
Delicious Diva, stop peering so deeply within our writhing monkey souls! It's naked and wet all of a sudden here.
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Jacquid the Squid
(Pepperell, MA, USA)
February 25, 2005
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GORD:
"Shit! I didn't think my face could actually freeze this way!"
ROB:
"I have no sympathy for you. NONE."
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Hey, a new entry! Excellently done, Squidly! You've succinctly and very successfully captured the flavour of a typical Rob-Gord exchange. As well, I gotta give you bonus points for submitting your entry with HTML coding for italics already in place for me. And finally, a superhappybig star for good grammar and punctuation. You not only put the pepper into Pepperell, but you've also raised the humour alert to Orange!
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Sir Ed of Crash
(from points unknown)
January 21, 2004
(This is close... judges? ... could this be bronze? ...is anybody out there?)
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GORD:
"Look, it's my Incredible Hulk impersonation, ARRRR!!!"
ROB:
"Oooh! I'm really scared..."
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Deftly handled, Sir Ed, though just a minor point: if Gord really were to do a viable Incredible Hulk impersonation, he's be unbuttoning his fly.
(Rob, like any sane person, would still be really scared, for that is the appropriate reaction to the sudden unveiling of such a furious, unstoppable mass. A mass immortalized in song, envied by men, craved by women, and written about with no exaggeration whatsoever by Gord.) |
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Buck
H.
(Smithsburg, VA, USA)
January 30, 2003
(This is close... it's almost bronze... the judges
are still tabulating and waiting for a bribe...)
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ROB:
"Gordon , put your shirt back on . it's only Ellen degeneras"
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Heyyyy...our first known entry from south
of the border! So, Buck, welcome to e-Canada. It's heartening
to see that the same inaccessibility to Ellen DeGeneres
by guys like me applies to both sides of the border. Thank
you for bringing our two great nations together on this important
issue during these desperate times.
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KC
(Toronto)
January 6, 2003
(3:41 AM)
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ROB:
" I'll take the $10 u were payin' to see gord's nipple
and i'll show u my dick instead. "
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KC, you better stick with the Sunshine
Band, 'cuz this one ain't that funny. What may look funny
at 3:41 AM usually flatlines in the cruel light of day --
believe me, we know. Humour's kind of vampirelike that way.
Besides, not only was Gord born entirely nippleless, but
Rob never shows his dick for less than $25. |
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(GOLD!!
OUR TOP PICK SO FAR.)
Justin
B.
(from points unknown)
November 14, 2002
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ROB:
"Look at us! My friend Gord and I are examples of what
can happen to you if you decide to make a career as a comedian
in Canada. Loss of limbs, terminal underbite, herpes in
spots unimaginable. Get the hell out whilst you can!"
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Wow!
How the hell did he know about the herpes? And how did he
know that 'whilst' is Rob's signature word? Congratulations,
Justin, you have succinctly encapsulated the Canadian Comedian
Experience with the soul of a poet and the insight of a
hard-drinking hooker with a heart of gold. Yowza yowza yowza.
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(SILVER!
2nd Place. Enjoy the home game.)
Julie
N.
(from points unknown)
November 7, 2002
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ROB:
"Ooooooooh, let's see you pull that chest hair out
again in slow motion."
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A
liberal dollop of suggested sensual S&M, combined with
the promise of slow motion histrionics keeps the viewer
in suspense as to what will happen next. And given that
it's a picture of 2 straight guys, you can bet that it won't
be much. Belieeeeeeeve me, Julie N.
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Barry B.
(Toronto)
April 14, 2002
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GORD:
"I swear to god Rob, that mouse was as big as my landlord's
dog!"
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Since I (Gord) actually know
the author of this line, I also know the landlord's dog,
and I give full points to Mr. B. for his uncanny accuracy
in mammal comparison. If I had a prize to give Mr. B., he'd
certainly get it. But the damn mouse that lives in my place
got it first.
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(Bronze!
Our 3rd pick. How Canadian of you.)
Mark M.
(Toronto)
March 6, 2000
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GORD:
"Rob,
it's Roger Abbott....and he's wearing my thong!"
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Mention
of both celebrities and thongs in the same sentence is never
a bad thing. But for the record, Gord would never lend his
thong out to anyone else, unless it was an absolute emergency,
or if it was ragged from overuse.
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Tazzbob
(from points unknown)
January 9, 2000
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ROB:
"Gord, where exactly did the Y2K bug bite you?"
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A good use of topicality at the time (remember those days of 'Y2K'? -- sigh...), and biting imagery is always a welcome addition
anywhere. Yeehah.
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